Bar Rules – Institutional Notices for Domestic Use

Some bars accumulate rules over time.
Some are written down. Others are simply understood.

If a rule is considered necessary in a staffed, licensed establishment, it will almost certainly be required in a home bar.
This collection assumes that environment.

These signs are intentionally designed to resemble dry, official notices rather than novelty décor.
They follow a consistent format and are intended to feel like objects that belong in a room rather than props explaining themselves.

The collection mixes genuinely reasonable restrictions with statements whose origin is less obvious. No further clarification is expected to be needed.
 

Features

The following notices are included in this set.
Each sign is provided on its own print plate and listed below in print order.

HIDING RUBBER DUCKS IS NOT PERMITTED
Some rules exist because experience has shown that optimism was misplaced.
The presence of this notice has, on occasion, been observed to encourage precisely the behaviour it prohibits.

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION
Not all notices are the result of a predictable process.

PULL / PUSH (PULLSH)
Equally applicable to doors regardless of which direction they actually open.
Door signage remains one of the few areas where absolute clarity is aspirational.

HORSES, SHOPPING CARTS AND IMPROPER CONDUCT PROHIBITED
A concise summary of how regulations tend to expand once edge cases are acknowledged.

NO JOUSTING IN THE ESTABLISHMENT
A clarifying amendment, added after the previous rule proved insufficient.

IMPERIAL STANDARD TIME — 4:01 PM
Discussions around time zones and acceptable drinking hours tend to escalate.
This notice confirms that, at any given moment, it is considered appropriate somewhere within the empire.

[Smiley sign]
Applicable under unspecified circumstances.

SMARTPHONES NOT PERMITTED
Widely supported in theory.
Quietly negotiated in practice.

Printing and mounting

One sign per print plate for individual selection
Multi-color models intended for AMS printing
Single-color printing is possible, with reduced contrast

No supports required
Mount using double-sided tape or adhesive
Visible screw heads are decorative and purely aesthetic
No permanent installation required

They are not intended to resolve disputes.
They merely confirm that the issue has been noticed.